


Undisputed

by WatanabeKin (BleachFox)



Series: Frayed Edges Series [2]
Category: Call of Duty, Modern Warfare Series
Genre: Drama, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-12
Updated: 2015-10-05
Packaged: 2018-04-20 10:05:31
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4783370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BleachFox/pseuds/WatanabeKin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Love wasn't easy. Hell when was anything easy. But being in love with your subordinate? That's on a whole other level with its own shit storm to tackle. Sequel to 'Frayed Edges'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Undisputed

\- Love wasn't easy. Hell when was anything easy. But being in love with your subordinate? That's on a whole other level with its own shit storm to tackle. Sequel to 'Frayed Edges'.

*Disclaimer* I don't own the Modern Warfare series or the characters. No copyright infringement intended.

The original version of this story can be found on my other account ‘Bleach Fox’ here is the link:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8558441/1/Undisputed

 

Chapter 1:

_“Delta we are at the extraction point, please respond.” A voice crackled over my comm set, barely heard over the yelling and gun fire surrounding me. I sighed in relief, turning my mic on. Finally the extraction team had arrived._

_“Affirmative Thunder 2-1. We are on the way.”_

_“Rodger that, 5 minutes ‘till dust off.”_

_I turned my mic off again, dodging a spray of bullets before sprinting to the other side of the house. "Roach let's go!" I yelled, skidding to a halt next to him and he jumped up, flashing me a grin._

_"About time!"_

_I snorted and jerked my head at the forest. "All clear?"_

_He shrugged and peered out with the stolen sniper he had found downstairs. "Can't see nobody, I've been sniping off anyone coming close so they're staying away."_

_"Good job, come on then, time to go." I led the way carefully from the house through the trees, luckily most of the tango's busy thinking we were still in the house. We were almost there and I could see the heli' landing when it happened, Roach, who was now in front of me, got caught in the blast radius of a mortar._

_I froze, stumbling to a halt as his body was thrown to the ground. No, no Roach couldn't die. Not here and not now, I wouldn't let him. Running over to him, I dropped down next to him and almost laughed in relief when his eyes flickered open to look at me._

_"I've got you Roach, hang on!" Handing him my ACR I pulled him upright and threw a smoke at the tree long before switching my mic back on. "Thunder 2-1, I've popped red smoke in the tree line! Standby to engage in my mark!"_

_"Rodger that Delta. We have eyes on the smoke. Waiting on your mark."_

_Securing Roach in my arms, he groaned before nodding, firing at the trees and even managed to hit a couple of the bastards. Dragging him away from the blast zone I made sure we were out of range, Roach wouldn't survive another it, bug or no bug. "Thunder 2-1, cleared hot!"_

_"Rodger that. Cleared to fire on all targets."_

_They rained down shots at my target, the bullets firing at us ceasing quickly. I sighed in relief and glanced down at Roach, my throat constricting when I saw he was struggling to keep his eyes open, he wasn't going to stay conscious much longer._

_"Come on, get up!" I yelled at him and he jerked, eyes snapping open to look at me in confusion before he nodded and got to his feet, leaning on me heavily. "Get up! Get up! We're almost there!" I half carried, half dragged him towards the landing evac choppers. If Roach died, it would be my fault for not protecting him, my fault for volunteering him for this mission._

_As they landed the cockpit opened to the closest one and Shepherd walked out to greet us. "Do you have the DSM?" He shouted over the whiting of the blades of several choppers as they landed. Now I think back to it I realise there were too many for a simple evac, but at the time I was more focused on getting Roach to safety and some medical care._

_"We got it, Sir!"_

_"Good... That's one less loose end."_

_Before I could even blink he pulled his gun out and shot Roach in the chest, the force of the impact knocking him from my arms. Everything slowed down in that moment as his body hit the floor and this time, he didn't move to get up. "No!" I screamed, reaching for my own gun to kill the bastard for daring to hurt Gary but I was too slow and the next thing I knew two bullets had ripped through my chest and I fell down next to him._

_The pain from the wounds was nothing compared to when I looked at Gary. His eyes were open but they were blank, no recognition, nothing, he was gone. I tried to get up, if I could just reach my gun, I'd make him pay. Shepherd kicked me in the chest and I fell back and I watched as he crouched down next to Gary's lifeless body and pulled the DSM from his pocket._

_"Why?" I managed to whisper and Shepherd paused, turning to look at me._

_"You would never understand. Riley, your fragile mind could never comprehend the bigger picture. All you see is kill or be killed and even then, you don't win. You couldn't even protect your worthless Sergeant." With a cruel smile he grasped Gary's chin and turned his head. "Such a shame, he was a good soldier."_

_"Don't touch him you bastard!" I yelled, managing to sit up. "I'll kill you-"_

_Shepherd kicked me down again, his foot pushing against my chest and I couldn't breathe. He lifted his foot and I gasped, almost choking and he chuckled. "My my, how the mighty fall." He murmured before walking away, I saw him wave at someone out of my line of vision and Gary was picked up by two soldiers._

_They threw him in a small trench and when I was lifted I knew I would get the same treatment. I was thrown in next to him, close enough to Gary's body that my hand landed on his stomach and I felt a flare of hope, he was still breathing! That flame soon vanished as Shepherd returned and we were doused in gasoline as he watched, twirling a cigar in his hands idly._

_When they we done he lit it's, taking a draught before flicking the lit flame onto Roach and his body was engulfed in flames. And with that, he stopped breathing._

"Gary!" I yelled the name and sat bolt upright in bed, looking around wildly.

"Simon?" He mumbled in reply, fumbling around for a moment before he turned the light on and I flinched at the sudden brightness. Once my eyes had adjusted I saw he was sat up looking at me worried, completely well and now unharmed. "What is it?" He asked softly, brushing my forehead and I realised I was covered in sweat, still shaking slightly. "Still dreaming about it?"

I nodded and he sighed, scooting closer to nuzzle into my side and I slowly wrapped my arms around him. "I almost lost you."

He sat up again and cupped my face. "But you didn't, we escaped. Toad and Archer rescued us don't forget. We made it out, we're still here." He ran a hand through my hair soothingly and kissed my forehead. "I'm never leaving you Simon."

I tightened my grip on his waist and nodded, exhaling shakily. "I know." Gary just nodded and fell silent, allowing me to calm down and after a few minutes I kissed his head. "I'm ok now, thank you."

He looked up and smiled, leaning forward to kiss me quickly. "Good, can you sleep?"

"Yeah, as long as you're here I'm fine."

His expression softened and he reached over to turn the light off again before settling in my arms. "I love you Simon." He muttered sleepily before sighing and falling silent.

I gripped him tightly and stared off into the darkness as the last of my nightmare ebbed away. "I love you too Gary." I murmured, allowing a small smile to graze my lips before closing my eyes too.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

The next morning I was woke. Up by the feeling of Gary's body pulling away from mine. Not having that, I tightened my grip and pulled him back, making Gary chuckle. "Simon?" I hummed and he rolled over to face me. "Are you going to let me get up?"

I opened my eyes at that to see him looking at me amusedly and I grinned. "Nope." He scoffed, scooting closer and laid down close enough that our noses brushed.

I smiled, touching his cheek as I looked over his familiar face, the freckles splashed across his nose which he hated, but I loved. His cheekbones which I gently ran my thumb across and he smiled softly. Those lips, which were currently curved upwards, still puffy from sleep and I just wanted to kiss him. Then I looked into his eyes and he just looked back, chocolate brown seemingly melting any worry or doubt still in me.

"You ok after last night?" He asked and I nodded, drawing him closer to kiss him softly. Gary sighed in content, kissing me back and it helped soothe my shattered nerves from my reoccurring nightmare. "C'mon, we have to get going." He murmured the words against my lips before pulling away stand up and I groaned.

"Damn training."

He laughed at that. "You're the one who insisted on this training regime." He admonished as he started looking for a clean shirt. One thing I did miss about being single was my clean room, Gary wasn't exactly known for cleanliness.

I sighed and sat up. "Well at the time I wasn't exactly planning to be engaged to one of my Sergeants a few years later." Gary paused and turned to look at me with a grin. "Then you came along and ruined that for me."

He feigned mock offence, finally finding a shirt. "You say that like it’s a bad thing."

"What's that?" I asked, folding my arms above my head and lent back against the headboard as he pulled the shirt on and ran a hand through his tousled hair.

"Us dumbass. You say it like this is a bad thing."

"Maybe it is." I joked and he rose and eyebrow before smirking.

"Well if that's how you feel..."

"What?" _Shit, what have I gotten myself into now?_

He walked over to me and bent down, brushing our lips together. "How long can you last Simon?" He whispered, pulling away as I reached out to him with a light laugh. "Not long apparently."

I growled in warning, frowning at the younger man still smirking at me. "Roach..."

"Oh so now I'm Roach?" He teased, walking to the door and winked at me before opening it. "See you around, Ghost." Before I could reply he was gone and I groaned, falling back on the bed and rubbed my face. As much as I love him, he sure knew how to push my buttons.

Grumbling to myself I got up and changed to follow after him to the training grounds. Of course the bastard rubbed it in the whole time, being a little flirt which was driving me crazy. "Right then!" I yelled as I approached the group and they all stopped, standing to attention. "I suggest you start running!"

"Yes sir!" They sprang into action and I grinned, not that they could see it under my mask, and began running. This was why Soap loved being in charge, the power of commanding the task force. It was good I admit, but I wasn't Captain material by a long shot.

It was after training had finished when it started. At first he was casually glancing at me, but when he finally got my attention it was when he was laughing at something Poet had said. Seeing I was looking, he grinned and pulled his shirt off. Not that this was uncommon as we were in the middle of desert so half of the team were now shirtless, Gary was just doing it for a different reason.

I almost stepped towards him when it hit me, raw and unmistakable desire. No one had never made me feel like this except for Gary and it was almost torture when he rubbed it in my face. But I stood my ground and pointedly turned away from him so he knew it wouldn't be so easy to break me.

He kept it up until I let everyone go and he left with everyone else. I have him ten minutes before heading to his room and let myself in, using the key he'd got made for me. I hear the shower running and smiled. I stealthily made my way into the bathroom and he didn't even turn as I walked in.

Gary had his back to me thankfully and I stopped, watching him for a moment before grinning. Quickly stripping of my clothes I stepped in behind him and wrapped my arms around his waist. "Jesus Simon!" He exclaimed, jumping a mile in the air before settling when I laughed and kissed the back of his neck.

"Hey Gary."

He shuddered before steadying himself by placing a hand against the wall. "Make a noise or something next time." He muttered and I knew he was just embarrassed for jumping.

"As if you didn't know I was coming." He hummed in affirmative, another shiver working through his body as I rubbed his hips, running my hand down his stomach. "Is this why you were acting up?" I asked lowly, nuzzling the back of his neck and he gasped.

"S-Simon don't fucking tease me!"

"Mmm but its fun." He just groaned before stiffened as I wrapped a hand around his member and began stroking. "You're already this hard?"

"Shut up, it's been like a week." I chuckled as what was supposed to be a snap turned into a shaky reply. "Simon please hurry up!"

"Ok, ok." Kissing his shoulder, I used my other hand to prep him and Gary was hardly able to stand by the time I was done. "Ready?" He nodded and I smiled softly, spinning him around to kiss him. "I want to see your face." I answered to his questioning look and he grinned as I lifted him up and wrapped his legs around my waist.

Tangling his fingers in my hair, Gary pressed our foreheads together and smiled. "All I had to do was tease you and this is the result?"

I chuckled, thrusting into him and he bit my shoulder to stop himself from crying out too loud. "You were the one parading around. Gary tugged sharply on my hair and I took that as an indication to move. "Still think I don't want you?"

"Fuck just move!" His breathing hitched when I did just that and he moaned, burying his head against my neck. It didn't take long for with of us, Gary came first with a muffled cry of my name against my shoulder which sent me over the edge as well.

Pulling away, I kissed the top of his head and helped him get his balance before stepping out of the shower to grab a towel. What I turned back to him, Gary was still leaning against the shower for support and I grinned. "Aww, was that too much for ikkle Roachie?"

His eyes opened at that so he could glare at me. "I swear if you ever call me Roachie again..."

"What?" He thought about it for a moment before shrugging and turning the shower off. I handed him a towel as he got out before I pulled him closer to kiss him again. He pulled back to grin slyly at me.

"If you call me Roachie again, you won't be having sex for at least a month."

I raised an eyebrow at that. "You wouldn't."

"Try me."

"Bitch."

He chuckled and leant forward to kiss me quickly. "You love me really."

"Unfortunately." Pulling him closer, we kissed again and I knew Gary was just as up for another round as I was, but just our luck, someone knocked on the door. "Fuck."

Gary rolled his eyes and stepped out of my arms to go answer the door. "What's up Soap?" I raised an eyebrow and came up behind him to grin at our superior.

"Hey Soap!"

He took in our current state and sighed, shaking his head. "I don't want to know, but when you two are done I need you in my office Ghost."

“See you in ten Soap.”

He sighed and gave a curt nod before turning and leaving. Just because he knew and accepted our relationship, didn’t mean he wanted to know about our sex lives and hell, I wasn’t going to be telling anyone shit anyway. What happened between me and Gary stayed behind closed doors, permanently. Placing a kiss on Gary’s shoulder as he closed the door, I turned to grab my clothes and change. As I headed back to the door I paused and pulled him closer to kiss him quickly.

“I’ll be back later to finish off our untimely interrupted conversation.”

He just grinned and kissed me again before shoving me towards the door. “Ok, now go already before I hold you captive.”

I snorted, but smiled at him anyway before slipping my mask back into pace. “See you around Sergeant.”

“See you around Lieutenant.”


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

I knocked on Soap’s door, waiting a moment for him to mumble it was ok to go in and opened the door, walking over to his desk and sat down in a chair opposite him. “Whatever this is Soap, it better be good.”

He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Sorry to drag you away from such important business, but there's a mission."

"Why didn't you call it in over the comms then?" I asked curiously, leaning forwards on the desk.

“Because it’s extremely sensitive and only were going on it. No need to alert the whole base and screw this up.” Soap leaned back in his chair, looking at me thoughtfully. “We leave tomorrow morning.”

“Way to leave this until the last minute.” I muttered, but Soap still heard and gave me a stern look. “Yeah yeah, I know, you’re the Captain and can do as you please.” I waved a hand at him and stood up with a sigh. “Just let me say goodbye to Roach yeah?”

He nodded after a moment. “Don’t tell him too much, the less he knows, the better.”

"Gotcha." Leaving the room, I made my way back to Gary's and sighed before knocking on the door. After a moment it opened and he grinned at me.

"That was quick." Throwing is arms around my neck, Gary leaned in and pulled my mask up before kissing me chastely. "What did Soap want?"

I sighed, pulling the mask of completely and rubbed his hips before backing him into the room and kicked the door shut. "Me and him are going on a mission in the morning. Just us two so off grid, don't tell no-one." Gary's arms tightened and he looked up at me worriedly. "What?"

"Just..." He paused, thumping my chest lightly. "Don't die?"

I snorted, kissing the top of his head. "I don't plan on it. Besides, I'm the careful one remember?"

"Don't joke, I have a bad feeling."

He spoke the words softly, cautiously even and I stiffened. "The last time you said that was before Shepherd."

Gary's expression softened and he ran a hand through my hair before kissing me again. It had the desired effect and I relaxed, loosening my grip on his waist. "I know, which is why I'm asking you to be careful."

I nodded, tugging him closer and Gary complied, stepping closer into my arms. "Ok, I will." He nodded and sighed, tightening his grip on me. “Come on.” I murmured, leading him to the bed and sat down, Gary quickly joining me. “It’ll be fine, I promise I’ll come back.”

“You better asshole or I’ll just find you to kill you again.” Gary muttered before smiling softly and kissing me quickly. “No quitting early.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it.”

He snorted before lying down in my arms and I sighed heavily before closing my eyes to fall asleep. Tomorrow was an early start so I needed every moment of sleep I could get. Gary thankfully had set the alarm which went off at four the next morning and I quickly turned it off to not wake the still sleeping Sergeant.

With a reluctant sigh I carefully untangled myself from Gary’s arms and grabbed my mask and shades from the side. I paused, turning to look at Gary’s sleeping form and smiled softly. “Goodbye Gary, see you soon.” Quickly donning the mask and shades, I headed outside to find Soap waiting at the heli.

As I climbed aboard, Soap handed me the mission folder and Nikolai took off. He frowned at me, probably because I wasn’t complaining about the early morning starts as usual. But in all honesty, they suck royally.

“You ok, not a single complaint, that’s gotta be a record.”

I snorted and glanced up at him. “Yeah I know, Roach’s worried that’s all’”

“Well you best keep yourself safe so I don’t have to deal with Roach if you die.” Soap pulled and face before grinning. “I don’t want to deliver that news or I’ll be signing my own death warrant.”

I laughed, opening the folder. “Yeah, I know. Anyway, it’s not like I run into battle with bullets flying at me, I’ll be fine.” Reading over the case notes, an uneasy feeling settled in my stomach. “This is a hit mission.” Soap nodded. “Great, so we’re a cleanup crew?”

“Pretty much.” He shrugged before rubbing his face with a heavy sigh. “You know how it is. Bullshit higher ups making a mess of things and leaving it for us to sort it out. Nothing’s changed and it never will.”

With a sigh I glanced at the picture of the man we were supposed to be killing. Noting about him struck me as unordinary, mousy brown hair and brown eyes, lack of any facial scars or tattoos. The only thing I noticed was the eyes, even in the picture you could see they were killers eyes, cold and empty, no compassion and easy to spot. His name was Vadrinsky, a Russian asset to Makarov who supplied the man with equipment. We take him down and Makarov finds himself without a supplier, a major advantage to us.

After a few hours we landed in a desert, it was still dark so no one would have seen us for miles around as the heli took off and we made our way to the advantage point. When we got there we found it to be a small shanty shack, long abandoned by the look and smell of it.

“Home sweet home.” I muttered and Soap chuckled as I kicked a rotting box out of the way to enter the building. We set up camp, having a direct view and clear shot of a meet where Vadrinsky was supposed to be attending, now all we had to do was wait. After a very long wait, I sighed and glanced at my watch, raising an eyebrow in suspicion.

“He’s late.”

Soap sighed as well and glanced at me. “Yeah well, he’ll be here sooner or later.”

I snorted and tapped my watch. “He’s four hours late, the meets not going down. Someone must’ve got wind that it was compromised.”

Soap groaned and slid down to rest of the floor. “Shit, I think you’re right, what a waste of fucking time.” His head jerked up and I spun around, gun ready as our alarm went off suddenly. “Shit we’ve been compromised!”

“Ok, ok, let’s go then!”

Scrambling to his feet, Soap grabbed his gun and I followed him from the room. Making our way to the back exit, the front door was broken down and I dove behind cover, firing off shots at the first idiot to walk through the door.

“Soap get that door open!” I yelled at him, firing off another few rounds. “I can’t keep this up forever!”

He threw the door open and I threw a couple of flash bangs into the hallway as a distraction before running after him. “Command we have been compromised, I repeat, we have been compromised. Heading for the extraction point now!” Soap yelled down his headset as we sprinted away from the shack to put a fair bit of distance between us and the enemy.

“Copy that Alpha, extraction in an hour.”

“Fuck we’ve got to move. The zones at least forty minutes away and I am not getting stranded out here!” I yelled at Soap who just shook his head, choosing not to respond to me.

“Copy that command.”

After a while we had to slow down to a walk, running through the desert at full pelt was pretty much suicide. “How much longer?”

Soap checked his watched and grinned at me. “We’re about five minutes away and we’ve got ten minutes until extraction.”

I grinned back and slapped his shoulder. “Great, I don’t think I could run any more. Shit it’s hot.”

He laughed at that, shoulder his gun to raise an eyebrow at me. “The almighty Ghost, always a whiner aren’t you?”

“Shut up.”

I took a halfhearted swat at him which he smoothly dodged and rolled his eyes. “At least Roach had nothing to worry about, honestly, he does that too much.”

I laughed. “You’re telling me, can’t blame him though, not after Shepherd.”

“I know mate it was a close call. I’m just glad Toad and Archer were there.” He paused and sighed. “If only I’d gotten my call out sooner, you would’ve known-”

“Shut up Soap, there wasn’t anything you could’ve done so forget it. No one holds it against you anyway so don’t beat yourself up over it.” I told him firmly, both me and Gary knew how guilty Soap felt about his call being too late, his warning only received after we were thrown into that pit.

“Yeah I know.” Soap snorted and shook his head. “Never trusted that bastard anyway.”

Before I could respond, a shot rang out deafeningly, echoing for miles. Soap’s eyes went wide and my grin slid from my face as I looked down, the pain ripping through my leg as I realized what had happened and I fell down.

“Ghost!” Soap yelled, dropping his weapon to try and haul me to my feet but the wound had clean torn through my upper calf and I couldn’t support my weight, collapsing after each try. Hearing the enemy catching up, I made a quick decision, pushing Soap away when he tried to pull me up again.

“Just go.”

I said the words quietly and Soap froze, shaking his head slightly. “No… No! Not without you idiot, we’ve been through too much for me to leave you like this!”

“Alpha the extraction zone is hot, we are leaving in five minutes with or without you!”

The words crackled through our headsets and I quickly ripped my mask off, yanking my tags off as well before shoving them into Soap’s hand. “Give them to Gary.”

Soap looked at me for a long moment before nodding silently, gripping the fabric tightly. “I’m sorry.”

I smiled and rolled my eyes. “Don’t be.” He nodded again before turning and leaving. “Tell Gary I’m sorry and I love him!” I yelled as Soap disappeared before sighing heavily and collapsing back on the ground.

After staring at the bright sky for a few moments, clutching my leg in an effort to stop the bleeding, voices sounded close by. Lifting my head I saw two soldiers speaking to each other rapidly in Russian but before I could make out what they were saying, one had noticed me and grinned wickedly. A sharp pain at the back of my neck was the last thing I knew before the world went dark.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

_*Roach’s P.O.V.*_

I glanced at my watched and sighed, standing up to start pacing the length of my small room agitatedly. They were late, they were supposed to be back two hours ago. I knew I was being silly, worrying so much, it was Soap and Ghost after all, they could take care of themselves. But a little thought at the back of my mind kept repeating, _something’s happened to Simon, that’s why they’re late_.

A knock at the door jerked me from this cycle and I opened it to find Meat, flushed face and panting as if he’d ran a marathon. “Meat?”

“They’re back… Heli pad…” He waved in the general direction, speaking between breathes and I nodded in thanks before taking off towards the heli pad as fast as my legs could take me. When I arrived the doors had been opened and Soap was just climbing out. My heart skipped a beat when I saw he was covered in blood, and it didn’t look like his own. As he approached me, I noticed no-one else leave the heli. “Where’s Ghost?” I asked quietly when Soap was within ear reach.

“Roach…” He paused, pulling something out of his pocket and I saw the dog tags chain and began shaking my head.

“No… No! Whose blood is that? Where the fuck is he?!” I grabbed Soap, shaking him roughly, if this were any other situation he would probably hand it to my ass for manhandling him, but he let it slide this once.

“I’m sorry Roach.”

My legs buckled and I dropped to the floor, gripping at the tarmac as I tried to steady myself. It couldn’t be true, not Ghost, not Simon. It wasn’t until Soap dropped next to me and laid a hand on my shoulder I realised I was crying. Quickly wiping the tears away, I looked up at him. “Is he dead?”

Soap shook his head, squeezing my shoulder. “No, just wounded. I didn’t want to leave him but… I didn’t have a choice. He wouldn’t have made it back to base in his condition.”

“So you left him?”

His expression hardened at that. “The militia were closing in, if they want information they’ll keep him alive. They would treat him faster than I could have. If they want to find out what happened, he’s alive. I wouldn’t have left him otherwise.”

“Sorry.” I looked down ashamed by the accusation, Soap would never leave one of us behind, not without good reason. He sighed, opening my hand and dropped Ghost’s tags and his mask. My face crumpled as a new wave of tears spilled over my cheeks.

“We’ll find him Roach, I promise. Even if they didn’t keep him alive, I promise you we’ll get him back.” I nodded, allowing Soap to pull me up and lead me back into base.

…

_*Ghost’s P.O.V.*_

I woke up slowly to a steady throb at the back of my head, frowning in confusion, it took a moment to remember I’d been pistol whipped and growled at the memory. Shifting my legs brought back another incident, I’d been shot in the leg and the movement caused a spasm of pain to jolt up my leg. “Fuck.” I cursed quietly, opening my eyes, flinching as the light bounced off the bright white tiled room, easy to clean after information was ‘extracted’.

Looking down at my leg, I could see the wound had been cleaned and fixed up enough to keep me alive. This only meant one thing, I was alive because I had information they wanted. Which meant I was in for a world of pain.

“He’s awake, inform the boss.”

Jerking my head, I saw a guard stood to the side of the door, guess the head wound was more serious than I thought if I missed him before. The guard was speaking into his radio, whom to I had a good guess. “Nice place you’ve got here.” He glanced at me, but other than that ignored me. “So who’s the boss?”

No response again and I sighed, shifting again to try and find a weak spot in my binding, huffing when I found none, whoever had tied me up was good. After about ten minutes, there was a knock at the door. As the guard opened it, my suspicions were confirmed as Vadrinsky walked in.

“So I guess you’re the boss?” I asked as he strode over. When he reached me, he raised an arm, delivering a sharp blow to my face and my head snapped to one side.

“Who are you?”

 _Thick Russian accent, so he must originate from here._ I made a mental note before spitting out a mouthful of blood and turning back to him. “Name’s Rob.”

He observed me for a moment, probably deciding whether or not I was telling the truth. “Well Rob,” He sneered, going along with me for now. “Why don’t you have any tags?”

I shrugged in reply. “Must have lost them.”

“How convenient.” _Yeah, aint it just._ Vadrinsky turned away, walking to the table opposite me and picked something up. As he returned to standing in front of me, he kept the object hidden from view. “What were you doing here?”

“Oh you now, enjoying the sights. I heard Russia was lovely this time of year.”

That struck a nerve, his eyes twitched and he bared his teeth. In one fluid motion he pulled out a knife with a long wicked curve at the edge, brandishing it in front of me and smirked as I eyes it warily. “Why don’t we try this again, why are you here?”

“I already told you, the sights are lovely this time of year.”

I grinned as Vadrinsky’s eyes took on a mad glint, he wouldn’t be getting anything out of me. _Whatever he has in store couldn’t be worse than Roba, nothing ever could. I just have to hold out until Soap and Roach found me, I can do that no problem._ My grin soon vanished as he sliced the knife down my face, re-opening one of my old scars from Roba. I bit my tongue to not give him the satisfaction of hearing my pain.

“That all you got?” I asked after a moment, eyes narrowing as I glared up at him. “Just you wait, if I get free from this chair, you’ll wish you hadn’t done that.”

“I don’t believe you’re in any kind of position to be making threats here.” He waved the bloody knife in front of my face. “When I come back I’ll expect answers or you’ll have hell to pay.”

He turned to leave, throwing the knife down on the table and I cringed as the harsh sound echoed loudly in the room. “I’ll be waiting.” I told him quietly, pleased to his back stiffen before he left and the door closed, leaving me alone with my silent guard again.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

_“Simon” My head jerked up at the soft call of my name and I looked around, smiling when I found it was Gary._

_“Yeah?”_

_“Don’t give up.” When I frowned, he approached me, kneeling next to me. I reached out to touch him but found my arms bound. “Please Simon, just hold on I’ll find you, I promise.”_

_“Gary?” He stood up, walking away and within seconds he had disappeared. “Gary come back!”_

My head jerked up again and I looked around wildly, heart sinking when I realised it had been a dream, I was still in this goddam white room. I didn’t know how long I’d been here, I’d lost count after a hundred days. There was no window so I couldn’t tell when it was day or night, just this bright white room, sleep only came when I was exhausted.

No-one was coming for me.

I sighed, resting me head back against the chair, trying to remember my dream. It had been so vivid yet now the details were slipping away. I couldn’t remember Gary’s face, or his voice, nothing. I tried to picture him, but nothing happened, I couldn’t even remember the colour of his eyes. The thought brought tears to my own eyes which I quickly blinked away as the door opened and Vadrinsky walked in, he couldn’t see me at my weakest, I wouldn’t let him exploit me like that.

“How are you today Rob?” I chose not to answer as he walked closer, picking up yet another knife from the table. Every day it was the same, new wounds, more questions and no answers given. “Ready to tell me who you are?” I shook my head, long ago forgoing speech.

He smiled widely and without warning plunged the knife into my leg. I cried out as another wound was added to the other similar ones, at this rate he was going to damage my leg permanently if he hadn’t already.

“What is your name?”

Another shake of my head and he yanked the blade out, plunging it back in and I couldn’t help my name pass from my lips. “Simon!”

He paused, standing up to look at me. “What?”

“My name…” I spat through gritted teeth, glaring at him. “… is Simon.”

Vadrinsky smiled triumphantly. “Well, looks like you finally decided to talk, was that so hard?” I hung my head, fingers spasming slightly as pain jolted up my leg. I had given up one of my most closely guarded secrets. Only a handful of people knew my real name and I had just been forced to give this bastard it. I was getting weak, which wasn’t good. “Who do you work for?”

I closed my eyes, inhaling deeply. Nothing could be heard except the oddly rhythmic sound of my blood dripping to the floor, if he wasn’t careful, I was going to bleed out before he got anything else out of me. For a brief second, Gary’s face flashed across my mind and I felt my resolve harden, I wouldn’t tell him anything else, I couldn’t betray Gary like that, even if he’d given up on me.

“Fuck you.”

“Excuse me?”

I lifted my head to meet his eyes with my own. “Fuck you!” The knife was ripped form my leg, slashed across my face in an instant as another scar was opened up. “Bastard!” I yelled at him as the blood flowed down my neck and began soaking into the remains of my shirt.

“Tomorrow I expect answers or there won’t be anything left of you for your friends to find.” The sudden rush of hope I felt must have shown on my face and he snorted. “They won’t find you, no matter how hard they look.”

He left without another word, but he’d given me all I wanted to know. They were still looking for me, I wasn’t forgotten yet. It was all I needed to keep my mouth shut, I would never give them up. The room was darkening as the blood loss took effect and the last thing I remember was the doctor coming in the patch me up before I fell unconscious.

…

Something startled me into consciousness and I looked around in confusion, wondering what had happened. After a moment, the ceiling shook and I hears shouting, gunshots, was that an alarm? After listening to the beeping for a moment, a grin spread across my face, they were here.

The door was flung open and Vadrinsky stormed in. he must have seen the grin on my face because he snarled, striding over to grab a fistful of my hair and dragged my head up painfully. “You think you’re getting out of here alive?” He asked quietly and I could see he had lost it, his eyes were wide and his pupils dilated, a crazy glint in them. “The only way you’re leaving is in a fucking body bag!”

He pulled a gun out, pointing it under my chin.

“Say goodbye Simon.”

Everything seemed to freeze as he unhooked the safety. I was going to die here, right now, no-one was going to rescue me. Gary was too late. My blood froze as the thought, Gary was going to find me dead. I closed my eyes and smiled, Gary’s face had come back, and I could remember him.

I smiled remembering his beautiful brown eyes, his perfect cheekbones which were framed by soft brown hair. I remembered the way his lips felt against mine, how he alone made me feel so much when others couldn't. I felt the tears wash down my cheeks when he cocked the gun.

The click of the gun sounded loud in my ears as he cocked it and then a loud explosion. It wasn’t the gun though, we were both thrown to the floor as the door was blown open and I looked around, noting I was free now. Before I could move though, Vadrinsky had me up and gun to my head again as we faced the door, a figure entering through the dust and debris where the door used to be.

Vadrinsky went to pull the trigger, I closed my eyes, waiting for the inevitable.

“No!”

That voice, it was Gary, for a split second I realised what was happening but it was too late, a gunshot was fired and the world went dark.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6:

The darkness that followed after the gunshot wasn’t what I expected, if this was death then why was I still in so much pain, was this hell? I wouldn’t be surprised with all I’ve done. I frowned when someone started shaking my shoulder, forcing my eyes open. The world swam back into focus and someone was shouting something, but I couldn’t make sense of the words.

As my vision cleared I blinked dazedly, turning to see who was still shaking me and my eyes widened when I looked into familiar brown eyes. “Simon!” It was like someone had flicked a switch on in my brain, suddenly I could hear again. Gary’s voice rang clear and I could hear gunshots in the distance, shouting and explosions. Looking around the room it shook and dust started falling from the ceiling, the place was coming down.

“Gary we need to go.” I told him hoarsely, my voice rough from lack of use and I tried to stand but my legs gave way, Gary catching me as I fell. “The building’s falling apart.”

“I know, we’ll be fine.” Our eyes met again and I watched as several emotions played through them, Joy, sadness, anger and hurt. He blinked and looked around quickly before standing, helping me onto my feet. “We’ve gotta go ok?” I nodded and he made towards the door, stopping abruptly as my leg gave way, there was no way I could walk out of here. “Shit!” Gary cursed, looking at my leg before sighing heavily, looking up at my grimly. “This is going to hurt.”

“What?” He grabbed me suddenly, picking me up as easily as if I was a piece of paper. Gary wasn’t kidding about the pain as it jolted up my leg. “Shit!”

“Fuck, sorry.” Gary looked down at me, his expression falling slightly as he looked over me, I must look like shit. We both looked up as Soap came running down towards the room, coming to an abrupt halt in the doorway.

“Good, good you found him.” Soap nodded in my direction before ducking as several bullets were shot his way. He returned fire before holstering his gun and looked at Gary. “We’ve got to move, this place won’t be standing much longer.”

I open my mouth to say something but Soap ran off before I could even make a sound, I  frowned and Gary laughed at something, probably my expression by the way he looked at me with a soft grin. “Come on, I’ll get you out of here.”

With that we were leaving the room and heading towards the exit. We met no resistance along the way, looks like the task force had cleared the building out which was a good thing since the place was collapsing around his. Several times Gary had to dodge out of the way as large chunks fell from the ceiling or he had to detour because the corridors had collapsed. We eventually made it outside and I grinned as the building collapsed completely behind us, leaving nothing but a pile of rubble.

The wind whipped up around us as a heli landed close by and Gary quickly got on, making a motion to put me down but I grabbed his shirt, yanking him back. “Don’t you dare fucking leave me.”

Gary’s expression softened and he sat down, keeping me in his arms and he sighed. “I won’t leave you, I promise. It’s going to be ok Simon.” I nodded wearily, fatigue taking over and I rested my head against his chest as the world started fading away again but this time I knew that when I woke up, I’d be safe. We were still on the heli when I woke up with a jolt, we must have hit an air pocket or something as the heli jolted around for a few moments before returning to its normal state. “You ok?”

I looked up at Gary’s question to see him checking me over worriedly and I nodded, managing a weak smile. “Yeah, I’ll be fine.” With a bit of effort I managed to sit up and with Gary’s help he got me sitting next to him. I rested my head against the heli and blew out a breath, even that small movement took a lot of energy from me, and I had a long way to go yet before I was back to normal.

“Glad to see you mate.” I opened my eyes to see Soap had made his way over and was now sitting across from us, the rest of the team were on separate heli’s, giving us some much needed space. “Even in your current state.”

I frowned at that before making a fatal mistake and looked down at myself, or what was left of me. Vadrinsky had kept me alive with the bare minimum food and water and now, I had lost a lot of weight, hell I could count my ribs if I wanted to. My leg was in shreds, I couldn’t make much of it out between the blood and torn flesh, even trying to move it didn’t work. What wasn’t marked by the knife was covered in bruises, what skin I could see was spotted with deep purple bruising which would take weeks to heal and what I couldn’t see was covered in old and fresh blood.

I reached up to touch my face but Gary quickly caught my hand, shaking his head when I frowned at him. “Don’t.” He whispered quietly, gripping my hand tightly. “Don’t so that to yourself, not yet.” I would never admit it out loud, but his words scared me, what had Vadrinsky done that Roba hadn’t already? “Shit Soap, way to go!” Gary hissed at out Captain furiously as silent tears fell down my face, one’s I couldn’t have stopped even if I tried.

“Watch your tongue Sergeant.” Soap admonished him before standing up, giving my shoulder a gentle pat. “Don’t worry Ghost, we’ll make everything ok.” He left to the front of the heli, leaving me and Gary alone again.

“He’s right Simon, we’ll fix this.” Gary smiled bracingly before peering out of the door. “We’ll be landing in a moment.” Sure enough the heli began its decent and when it landed Gary picked me up again, murmuring his apologies as I hissed in pain.

“It’s not your fault.” I got out through gritted teeth, gripping his shirt with what little strength I still had. “None of this is.”

“I knew something bad would happen, hell I even told you.” Gary sighed, shaking his head as he carried me back to base. We had landed a good five minutes before everyone else so we weren’t stopped as he took me towards the infirmary. “I should have done something.” 

“Shut up, there’s nothing you could’ve done.” I could feel myself slipping again, the darkness was creeping back in and I shook my head to clear it. “I’m alive and that’s what counts, you saved me.”

Gary smiled, carefully shifting my weight to open the infirmary door. “Yeah, I did didn’t I, and I’ll do it again in a heartbeat if needed. Just try not to get yourself captured too often, please.”

“No promises.”

He chuckled softly as he placed me on one of the cots and Doc came into the room to start treating me. Gary stepped back to give him some space, smiling reassuringly as me as Doc pulled out a needle and injected something into my arm. After a moment I realised it was a sedative as the darkness came back and within seconds, I was out cold again.

…

When I woke up I found myself alone in a bright white, sterile room and for a moment, panic took over me. _No… no no no! It wasn’t a dream, I was rescued. Right?_ I jumped as something covered my hand, quickly turning and sighed in relief to see it was Gary’s hand. “Hey.”

“Hey Simon.” Gary thumb rubbed a soothing circle across the back of my hand, for his comfort or mine I didn’t know but it worked and I started to relax. “How do you feel?” I nodded absentmindedly, Doc had given me painkillers since I couldn’t feel any pain. “Good, then they’re working.”

“I still feel like shit though.”

He laughed gently, grinning at me. “Glad to see you haven’t lose your sense of humour.” I smiled wryly, glancing around the room and my eyes landed on the calendar on the wall opposite me. “Four months.” He told me before I could ask and I looked at him again. “You’ve been gone four months.” Gary spoke more softly, his grip tightening on my hand.

It was then I realised how my disappearance had effected Gary, he looked ill. His face was pale and he looked as if he hadn’t slept in days, he was definitely thinner, his cheekbones more pronounced than usual. “How are you?”

He looked surprised at the question, looking at me stunned for a moment before shrugging. “Ok I guess, I haven’t been sleeping well, but that’s to be expected. I’ll be fine now knowing you’re safe.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Why?”

I looked away from him, clenching the bedsheets with my free hand and sighed. “I promised I wouldn’t leave you unless you asked me to. Yet I did and I’ve hurt you.”

Gary grasped my chin, forcing my head up so I would meet his eyes. “It wasn’t your fault, I don’t blame you.” He shifted closer, our noses brushing and his eyes glanced downwards. “You didn’t ask to be tortured.”

“I missed you.”

The words left me in a mere whisper, but Gary could hear how broken they were and without further prompt he closed the distance between us and kissed me. It started off slow but month without each other proved to be too much as I was tugging him closer. Gary complied, climbing onto the bed and sat on my lap, gasping softly as my fingers tangled in his hair.

Slowly he began rocking his hips into mine, the small movement had me moaning softly, damn I didn’t know I could miss someone this much. He ripped his shirt off as my hand ran underneath it and his fingers dug into my arm slightly as his breathing hitched, it seemed Gary was just as intoxicated as I was.

“Simon…” My name left his mouth in a shaky whisper and he kissed me again as his movements became faster and less coordinated. One such movement had his weight landing on my leg and even with the painkillers I still felt it and grunted in surprise at the sudden pain. I son came to regret it as Gary stiffened at the noise, pulling back to look at me with wide eyes.

“Oh shit…” He murmured and sprang off me, fumbling with his shirt for a moment before pulling it back on. “I’m so sorry!”

“Gary its fine.” I reached out to him, frowning when he made no move to come closer. “Come here, please.” He sighed, taking my hand in his own and moved to stand next to me. “Come back, we had something going then, don’t leave it like this.”

He hesitated, looking at me but shook his head. “No, I don’t want to hurt you. You’re injured enough without me causing more damage.”

“Gary!” I huffed, throwing an arm up in frustration but winced as it caused pain, seemed the painkillers were wearing off. “You wanted it as much as I did.”

“Doesn’t make it right though. I’m not risking your life over a quick fuck, it can wait.” Gary smiled sadly, pulling his hand free and stepped away, making me frown at him. “I should stay away, we both know we won’t be able to control ourselves, I’ll never forgive myself if I hurt you.”

“Gary don’t…”

“I’ll see you later Simon, I promise.”

With that he was gone and I stared at the door open mouthed in shock before groaning, leaning back on the bed. That hadn’t gone the direction I hoped it would. I paused, slowly lifting the bed covers and regretted it instantly.

I couldn’t see any part of my body, everything was bandaged but I could see blood staining those around my leg. I touched my face, feeling the butterfly stitches pretty much everywhere and the roughness of my scars. I didn’t want to know what I looked like, just feeling it gave me a very clear image, I wouldn’t even look like myself when everything was healed.

Know I knew why Gary backed off so quickly, why would anyone be attracted to the mess I was? Why he kissed me I couldn’t comprehend, maybe it was pity, maybe he wanted to believe I was the old Simon, but I wasn’t and I doubt I would ever be again. My heart clenched and I looked down at my hand where my ring would normally be, was this it? Would Gary leave me once I recovered, was he only staying at the moment out of pity?

I scoffed, pulling the covered back up and lay down to stare at the ceiling. I would lose everything again and be left with nothing, this was how my life wen. No matter how hard I tired, I would never be happy.

I didn’t notice the door open nor Doc approaching my bed until he stood over me, a worried expression on his face. “Are you in pain?” He asked and I just nodded, I couldn’t tell if it was physical or emotional any more. He sighed, pulling out a syringe to see me eye it wearily. “More morphine.” I nodded, watching as he injected it into my IV drip and as the pain dulled, my eyes became heavy and I was soon asleep again.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7:

It had been a few weeks before I was able to leave the infirmary, Doc giving me strict instructions not to overdo it. Which I doubt I couldn’t in my current state, it took almost all my strength just to walk to my room when I finally left. Thankfully the damage to my leg wasn’t enough that I couldn’t walk, but I doubt I would be running any time soon. When I finally looked in a mirror, I was surprised to see it wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, Vadrinsky had followed in Roba’s footsteps apparently and left half of my face unmarked. But the other side was even more of a mess new, old scars ripped open and new ones added which would take a long time to heal, no one would see these anyway since I would wear my mask.

Gary hadn’t come back since that day, since he decided it would be best to stay away. I sighed, stopping for a moment when my leg decided it had had enough and leaned against the wall. It wasn’t for the best and damn it all to hell if I didn’t know whether I wanted to punch or kiss the stupid man when I saw him.

Reaching my room, I let myself in a sighed in relief to find it was clean, not even dusty, someone had been keeping it clean for me. Who it was I could figure out later, stripping out of the hospital gown I found a pair of my usual combat trousers to wear. I was just picking up a shirt when the door opened.

“There’s a door for a reason.” I said irritably, not turning since I didn’t have my mask on and I didn’t know who it was. “Next time knock or I’ll be knocking you one.”

“Uh, sorry.” I turned at the familiar voice to see Gary stepping into the room, closing the door behind him. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you from… whatever you’re doing.”

“I suppose its ok, since it’s you.” Dropping the shirt on the bed, I walked over to him, grabbing his arm to pull him closer. “You’ve seen more than me shirtless after all.”

“Simon…” Gary hesitated, looking down and I frowned at him.

“What?”

After a moment he looked up, smiling sadly before reaching out to trace his hand over my face, a finger running over one of my scars. It was something he’d always done, I don’t know why but he always traced them. I’d gotten used to it after a while, but now they were fresh and new scars, I felt that same fear again from before, that Gary might reject me because of them.

“Simon I’m sorry.”

I caught his hand as he pulled away, fingers tightening around his wrist reflexively. “Why?”

“I can’t do this.” I dropped his hand like it had burned me, it almost felt as if it had. “It’s not because I don’t love you, I do, I really do. I'm sorry but right now, you need to focus on healing, not just physically either. I just… don't think it's a good idea for us right now. Hell I hurt you in the infirmary who knows what else I could do?” He hesitated, stepping towards me with his arm out raised but he dropped it after a moment. “You understand, right?”

“No I don't.”

“Simon-”

“Don't call me that.” I cut him off, holding up a finger threateningly. “Don't you dare call me that if you're calling quits on us.” He opened his mouth again before deciding against it and sighed, looking down. “You think you'll hurt me by staying? Well you're doing a worse job by leaving.” Before he could answer I strode past him and opened the door. “Just leave, I don't want to deal with this right now.”

“Ok, I understand.” His reply was quiet and he kept his head down as he left the room. “Uh, these are yours.”

Gary fumbled in his pocket for a moment before bringing out a handful of stuff. When he opened his hand I could see it was my dog tags and ring, it seemed Doc had removed it when I was out cold. After a moments hesitation I took my tags and left the ring. “Keep it, I don't want it.” And with that I stepped back and closed the door before anything else could be said.

“Simon?” Gary’s voice travelled through the door easily but I didn't respond, after a minute he continued. “I really am sorry.” Another pause, I still didn't respond. “I love you, I always will… Just don't forget that, please.” I heard him sigh and then footsteps faded away as he left.

Letting out a breath I hadn't realised I'd been holding, I slid down the door to sit on the floor and cradled my head in my arms. Just as I suspected, Gary wanted nothing to do with me anymore. Maybe I was just meant to be alone, no matter what I felt for Gary and what he apparently felt for me, it seems it wasn't enough.

I didn't leave my room for the remainder of the day, the thought of running in Gary somewhere was enough to prevent me from even opening the door. The next day however I realised it was ridiculous trying to avoid the man, we worked and lived together so I had to get used to it. I swore to Soap the relationship wouldn't affect our work and I would make sure it didn't.

Gary it seemed though was avoiding me. I caught I few glimpses of him during the next coming days, enough to make my heart jolt but whenever I turned to look he was gone. I didn't know if I was relieved or saddened by this. Training had been put on hold until my recovery which I was also thankful for, right now I couldn't face trying to be the Lieutenant, being Ghost.

Soap however had noticed a change and sought me out about four nights after my release from the infirmary. I was outside when he sat down next to me and he waiting a few minutes before speaking. “So what's going on?”

“You really want to know?” I asked, turning my head to look at him and he nodded. With a heavy sigh I relayed what had happened. “Roach left me, now he's avoiding me and I have to pull myself together pretty soon and be Ghost again. I don't know if I can.”

Soap raised an eyebrow at me, we both knew I wasn't exactly a talker and this was something new. I didn't usually confide in him this much, if at all really. “Ok, so one, you're calling him Roach again which I think is a defensive mechanism.” He held up a finger when I made a noise. “Two, you've taken a blow, both to your body and heart and that's going to take a while to heal, if ever. Three, no one expects you to bounce back to before, you went through hell so take as much time as you need to recover. Me and Price can hold down the fort until you're ready.”

“Thank you.” I responded quietly after a few minutes of silence. Soap nodded and patted my shoulder and we resumed the silence. Nothing needed to be said which I was fine with, it was comforting to have a friend.

The silence was shattered as a loud bang sounded behind us and we both jumped up. Soap was the first to the door and as he looked inside, he started laughing. Intrigued, I joined him, brushing off his sudden move to stop me and looked inside. It was Roach, he was on the floor and it looked as if he'd tripped whilst carrying something since he was now covered in dust.

We both stiffened as our eyes met and he quickly stumbled to his feet, brushing the dust off and picked up the box he'd been carrying. “Uh, sorry I didn't mean to disturb you.” He murmured quietly, looking down to avoid eyes contact.

Soap quickly stepped between us and gave me a shove to get me outside. “Don't worry about it Roach, as you were.” Roach gave the man a quick smile and quickly disappeared and I suddenly had an overwhelming urge to punch Soap. It wasn't his fault this had happened by damn it if it didn't make me mad to see Roach smile at him and not me. “Don't do it.” Soap advised when he turned to me and saw my hand clenched.

“I may be impulsive, but I'm not stupid.” I growled, sighing slowly and relaxed. “I'm going to bed, night.” I went inside before I really did do something stupid and regretful, heading to my room. With the door closed and locked I let out a relieved sigh. “What am I doing?” I muttered, shaking my head. I had almost punched Soap, my Captain, my friend. All because Roach had smiled at him. I really was losing mind over him.

There was a tentacle knock at the door but the way I jumped away from it the door might have been blown down. Opening the door, my suspicions were confirmed and it was Roach stood there. “Um, hi again.”

“What do you want?” I asked sharply, more than I intended and Roach actually flinched.

“I want to talk to you.” He shoved me suddenly and catching me by surprise I stumbled back into my room. He followed in after me and shut the door, blocking off the only exit and effectively trapping us together. I had no choice but to listen. “I made a mistake, a big fucking mistake and I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me for what I did. I thought it was for the best… but I only made things worse.” He paused, sighing heavily before looking at me and he smiled. There was that smile, the one I’d almost hit Soap over for earlier. “I miss you.”

“So?” I asked, the sharpness still in my voice. “You think I care? Do you honestly think I would forgive you just like that?”

“No! I just…” He stepped closer, stopping just in front of me. Close enough to be intimate but not enough to be touching. “I wanted you to know I feel like shit for what I said.”

“I don't care how you feel.” I spat, hands clenching into fists again and he stepped back suddenly. “I don't care shit for you anymore. You left me remember? I don't have to feel anything for you anymore and guess what, I sure as hell don't.” I don't know what I was saying, a small voice inside my head was screaming at me to stop but I couldn't. “You think an apology will fix things? That I’d take you back with open arms? Then you're fucking stupid because I won't.”

Roach’s eyes filled with tears and something inside me snapped at the sight. Grabbing his shirt, I yanked him closer and before he could react or I could think my mask was off and I was kissing him. It wasn't a loving kiss, nor was it gentle and I'm pretty sure I made Roach’s lip bleed but I honestly didn't care, I was too far gone for that.

We were on the bed in seconds, clothes removed or ripped off because it was just too much of a hassle to undo them properly. There was a moments hesitation where I pulled back but Roach had his fingers in my hair instantly and dragged me back. His legs were around my waist and he pulled my closer, an invitation I took without further heed and I trust into him. Roach let out a muffled cry, the noise dimmed since his head was pressed to my shoulder. It didn't deter my movements though and I began thrusting.

Roach let out another noise, but didn't stop me instead he dug his fingers into my back with one hand and I was sure he'd drawn blood. I didn't care though, nothing really mattered anymore, I couldn't even say whether I was doing this because I loved Roach or hated him. It was over pretty quickly, neither of us caring to make it last.

“Simon…” He began after a few minutes, sitting up with a wince but I cut him off.

“Shut up Roach, I don't want to hear it. And don't call me that, I've already told you to stop it.” His tags caught my gaze and as I looked at them, I realised why they looked odd. Lifting a hand I held them and saw that Roach had attached my ring to them as well. The sight of it made my heart clench and I felt almost sick at what had just happened. “Get out.”

“What?” Roach asked quietly as I let the tags go and got up, pulling my clothes back on. He looked down in surprise when I threw his clothes at him before frowning. “Simon what-”

“Call me that again and I swear I won't be held responsible for my actions!” I promised and he took me seriously. Looking down, he got up and changed back into his clothes.

“Listen up Roach and listen well because I'm only saying this once.” When he looked up at me I continued. “I don't love you. What just happened wasn't because of love, it was anger and I shouldn't have done that. It won't happen again.” As before, Roach’s eyes filled with tears but I held myself together, I wasn't going to snap again. “Now get the hell out and don't come back.”

With a shaky nod he turned to the door. As he opened it however, Roach paused. “You may say you don't love me anymore, but I don't believe you.” He whispered quietly, not turning to look at me but he had my full attention anyway. “I don't care what you say or what you do, how I feel will never change.”

He left after that and as the door closed I sank into my bed and clutched my head. What the hell had I just done? Something on the bed caught my eyes and as I looked, my eyes widened when I realised it was blood. I hadn't prepped Roach, he hadn't said a word and he'd let me do that to him. My heart clenched and before I could think I was up and chasing after the man.

“Roach!” I called when I finally saw him and he came to a stop, slowly turning to me. He waited until I caught up and after a deep breath I looked at him. “I'm sorry, I don't know what I was thinking. I hurt you again, Gary I'm so sorry.” I had to lean against the wall as my leg threatened to give out, I shouldn't have run after him but the pain of my leg was nothing compared to that of my heart. “Please, I don't know what to do.”

He stood watching me silently and for a moment I feared that he wouldn't forgive me. Then he smiled and I let out a relieved sigh as he moved towards me and pulled me into his arms. “I'm sorry too.” Gary murmured into my shoulder, his fingers digging into my shirt. “I won't leave you again, I promise.”

This time when we kissed it was more gentle, and a lot more meaningful. “How do you feel?” I asked quietly, my hand moving down his back and Gary shivered, pulling a face. “I'm sorry, I lost control back there.”

“I didn't stop you, I wanted it too.” There was that smile again and I couldn't help but grin back. “Just… more gentle next time yeah?”

“Yeah, I promise.” Glancing down I caught sight of the chain around his neck and hesitated before hooking a finger underneath it to pull the tags out. “Can I have my ring back?” Gary nodded, undoing the chain to remove the ring and slid it back onto my finger. “Thanks.” I breathed a sigh of relief to have it back in its place, my hand didn't look right without it anymore.

“Simon?” He said my name tentatively and I smiled, kissing his forehead. “Come back to my room with me, we can do this properly.”

“You sure you're feeling up to it?”

Gary nodded and smiled reassuringly. “Just prep me first ok?”

I rolled my eyes, leaning down to kiss him and forgetting we weren't in the private of a room, things started getting heated. I had Gary up against the wall and my hands were busy undoing his trousers when someone cleared their throat sharply. Pulling back quickly, I saw Gary’s face was burning and I had to hide my grin.

I turned to see it was Price and sighed in relief, it was only then I had  realised my mask was missing. “Everything ok Price?”

He scowled at us both. “What the hell are you two doing?!” He asked incredulously, waving a hand at us and I stepped back to put an appropriate distance between us. “That is not acceptable behaviour on base.”

Price was currently in command. After Shepherd’s betrayal he was put in charge of the Task Force until a suitable replacement could be found. A year later and he was still here. “Sorry, it won't happen again.”

“Yeah it better not. I don't need to be seeing such things.” The man grumbled before walking past us. “Keep it locked up out of sight!” He called back at us before disappearing.

Gary let out a small laugh once he was out of earshot and I chuckled, wrapping an arm around his waist to pull him closer. “Come on then, let's go.”

“My rooms closer.” He stepped out my embrace and grabbed my hand to lead me there.


End file.
